sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize