Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
