i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
