I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
