so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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