I hate all girls vehemently.
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize
