its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
