So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I supernannyed him into submission
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize