I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
