It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
