they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
