That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
