what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
