Whoa Z and x make the same sound
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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