I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
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