Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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