2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
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