Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I need water and some morals
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