Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
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