Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
