i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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