what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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