I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
