i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
