omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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