I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
