she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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