oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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