I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
