okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
me + whiskey = a bad person
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
