I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Randomize
