TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
