So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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