Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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