I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Randomize
