I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
