We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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