I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Randomize