My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
It's like God shit irony all over that family
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
