Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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