are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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