there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
