How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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