Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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