I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Be still, my beating vagina.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
