I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
