You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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