Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
