Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Randomize
