Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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