found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
