You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
you would pick up someone in the library
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
