i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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