I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Randomize