she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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