I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
