help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Randomize
