I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
