well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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