My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
No subtext here. People are naked.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
