I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
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