I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
