I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
you told grandpa to call you daddy
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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